Toxic language and gym culture can go hand in hand.
There’s no standard definition of toxic language. But within gym culture, you can think of it as phrases that spread the false belief that thin or muscular bodies are morally superior or healthier than other ones, says Brit Guerin, a licensed mental health counselor and a co-owner of Current Wellness, a weight-inclusive wellness center in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Gym culture has latched onto the idea that fitness has a distinct look, says Lauren Pak, a body-positive personal trainer certified by the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) in Londonderry, New Hampshire. “The marketing and messaging within the gym often ends up completely revolving around appearance, as opposed to the hundreds of other benefits of exercise such as improved strength, bone health, heart health, and self-confidence.”
Toxic language can also be involved in the way people talk to themselves in the gym — and many don’t realize the harm they’re doing. They may be trying to motivate themselves to make healthy changes, but “it is so much harder to stay motivated and consistent with your workouts when you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not enough,” Pak says.
Body image — or how you see your physical self — can have a significant effect on health and well-being.
RELATED: 6 Ways to Have a Healthier Body Image
Appearance-focused comments about yourself in the gym can also affect those around you.
Research shows that self-objectifying comments may drive other people to pay more attention to their own bodies. In other words, your negative self-talk may inspire negative self-talk in others.
“When you catch yourself using toxic language in your own head, ask yourself if you would ever say that same thing out loud to a friend or loved one,” Pak suggests. “If that answer is ‘no,’ it will help you recognize the toxic language and redirect your energy to something more positive.”
Here are seven toxic phrases that body image experts and advocates hear all too often in the gym, and why they’re harmful. Plus, learn what to say instead.
1. ‘I Need to Burn Off (Insert Food Here)’
How often have you seen social media posts promoting a perfect routine for burning off holiday or vacation indulgences? Perhaps you’ve even said or thought that you need to go to the gym to work off the food you’ve eaten.
Treating exercise as punishment robs you of the experience of enjoying food and movement, “both of which ultimately lead to health,” says Paula D. Atkinson, LCSW, a psychotherapist in Washington, DC, who specializes in eating disorders and body image. It’s unsustainable to hate yourself because you ate something and then punish your body for eating it, she adds.
What to say instead Instead of looking to food as a reason to exercise, think about how movement makes you feel. For example, if you’ve been sitting around all day, the sensation of moving your body may be exactly what you need. You might say, “It feels great to move my body and get those endorphins flowing right now,” Pak suggests.
2. ‘You’ve Lost So Much Weight, You Look Amazing’
You might think complimenting someone on their weight loss is a kind gesture, but you’re glorifying weight loss without context. “Unless you know [someone] personally, you never know why [that person] is at the gym or why their body may have changed,” Pak says. Someone might be going through depression or anxiety, and that causes them to lose their appetite. Or, weight loss might be tied to an illness they have currently or have recently struggled with (not something positive in their life). “There are many cases where weight loss or visible changes aren’t desired, and commenting on it can be really harmful,” Pak says.
What to say instead Offer a compliment that’s not appearance-related. For example: “I’ve noticed you’ve been super consistent in coming to the gym and working hard; that’s awesome!” Pak suggests.
3. ‘I Feel Fat’
Fat is not a feeling. When people say “I feel fat,” they often mean they feel unwell, uncomfortable, or bloated. But equating these negative feelings to a body shape many live in is offensive and toxic, Atkinson says. Saying “I feel fat” at the gym also supports the belief that someone should change the way their body looks with movement, which creates a hostile environment for people in large bodies, she says.
What to say instead Come up with another way to describe how you’re feeling. Are you feeling low-energy? Lonely? Frustrated? Just don’t use the term “fat.” Whatever emotion you’re dealing with, “exercise could be a way for you to cope with that,” Guerin says. She adds that getting to the root of what’s going on can inform the type of exercise you do to feel better.
RELATED: 7 Fat Talk Phrases to Stop Using Now
4. ‘I Need to Lose Weight for (Insert Event)’
Exercising to lose weight for a specific event — like a wedding, vacation, or party — supports the myth that all bodies can and should get smaller with enough effort. “This is biologically impossible for many bodies, and the belief that it’s possible for all bodies supports bias,” Atkinson says.
“It also supports the belief that only people in small bodies deserve to vacation, get married, have a party — whatever the event is,” she notes.
What to say instead Atkinson suggests switching the emphasis from how you want your body to look to how you want your body to feel. “If someone wants to feel strong and embodied for an event or vacation, that’s awesome,” she says.
5. ‘I Should Work Out’
Watch out for any workout-related phrase that includes the word “should.” “That’s usually an indication of some morality thinking,” Atkinson says. Or the idea that “good” people exercise and “bad” people don’t.
Working out is great, but doing it doesn’t make you a better person than someone who doesn’t exercise. That’s simply a false hierarchy, Atkinson says.
What to say instead Change “should” statements into “want” statements. For example: “I want to work out.” That opens the door to exploring other ways to make your gym time enjoyable. Perhaps you usually force yourself to run on the treadmill, but you realize that you’d prefer to use the elliptical or take a yoga class, Atkinson says.
6. ‘If I Can’t Work Out for (Insert Duration), It’s Not Worth It’
The all-or-nothing mentality — you either exercise for an hour or don’t exercise at all — is very common in gym culture. But if you’re only allowed to move your body if it hurts and your workout lasts an hour, you’re probably not going to exercise very often, Atkinson notes.
Your body doesn’t care if you only move for 10 minutes. “Your body is like, ‘Great! That was delightful.’ It’s only your mind that’s been brainwashed by toxic diet and fitness culture that says that’s not enough,” Atkinson says.
What to say instead Think of how good it feels to exercise — for any length of time. “Bring it back to the internal experience of moving your body,” Atkinson says.
RELATED: Why Foods Aren’t ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’
7. ‘(Insert Activity) Isn’t Real Exercise’
Gym culture is notorious for spreading the message that movement doesn’t qualify as exercise unless it looks a certain way. But the idea that you have to go to a gym or perform specific activities to see benefits is untrue (though it has certainly made many people wealthy), Atkinson says. Unfortunately, this notion also implies that free and low-intensity movement like walking is morally inferior to paid and high-intensity workouts.
What to say instead Remember that movement is movement. “Your body doesn’t really care if you went to a fitness class or if you did a workout at home,” Atkinson says.
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