As a relatively seasoned LGBTQ+ traveler who has been fortunate enough to explore dozens of countries and cities across the Western Hemisphere and Europe, my top travel tip might sound a bit contradictory: don’t listen to travel tips.
I know, I know—I’m literally giving you advice while telling you not to take it. But hear me out…
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The truth is, a lot of the “must-see” places that get recommended over and over aren’t based on deep personal discovery or cultural connection. They’re often just the result of someone’s very limited vacation time, convenience, and a quick Google search.
In fact, according to the latest data from the U.S. Travel Association, the average American only takes about 17.2 days of vacation a year, and 52 percent of employees reported having unused vacation days at the end of the year.
So when someone says you “have to” go to that one cafe in Rome or that one hike in Costa Rica, odds are that it’s the only one of those things that they went to or did. Not to mention, they probably found it on the first page of search results or heard about it from a friend who otherwise had.
There’s a certain comfort in the familiar, especially when traveling as a queer person navigating safety, language, and cultural nuances. I’ll never knock someone for wanting to feel secure or to have a “universal” experience they can talk about with friends back home.
But if you want your travels to feel like your own, and to walk away feeling like you actually experienced something memorable and meaningful, you’ve got to go deeper and off the beaten path.
If it’s popular, it’s probably overrated
Most of the “best” spots to eat, drink, or take a selfie are all about the marketing, rather than the actual experience. Top Google listings are often SEO’d to hell (and I say that as someone who works in SEO). And those TikTok and Instagram hotspots are most often about looking aspirational, but are not usually very authentic.
Sure, maybe that trendy cocktail bar is fun. But maybe the dive bar down the street with three locals and a karaoke machine is unforgettable. Maybe the touristy monument is gorgeous, but I bet the unassuming graffiti on the side of an old warehouse down the alley is more unique and photo-worthy.
To get there, you’ve got to ditch the algorithm.
Where to actually look for travel inspiration
When my partner and I travel, we go full detective. We dig into the second, third, and fourth pages of Google, where many unsung heroes live. We browse Atlas Obscura for offbeat landmarks. We scan Reddit forums (even the outdated ones) because that’s where the buried treasure hides.
Even more importantly, we wait until we arrive. Once we’re on the ground, we ask the people who live there what they’d do.
Our cab driver from the airport in Cartagena once pointed us to a newer brewery that wasn’t online yet. A local TSA agent in Dublin told us which gay bars were the best to visit on the nights we were in town. A random person I chatted with at a park in Mexico City sent us to a maze-like local market outside of the main drag that had hundreds of stalls selling everything under the sun.
Exceptions exist, of course, but many of these aren’t places that exist on most “top 10” blog posts on the same topics. But they’re the things that made our trips feel especially unique and unrepeatable.
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Structure is helpful, but spontaneity is joy
That said, we still plan a little and are not complete chaos goblins. Before traveling, we create a shared Google Map and bookmark inspiration, can’t-miss places, or queer landmarks. But we always leave space in our itinerary for wandering, for talking to strangers, and for saying yes to spontaneous adventures.
This approach has not only helped us discover incredible places, but it has also helped us learn more about each other, too. We’re more curious and connected when we’re out exploring without a script.
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Walk when you can or take public transit
If it’s safe, try walking instead of hopping in a car. You’ll see more, stumble across cool stuff, and get a better feel for how the city actually lives and breathes. Some of our favorite places weren’t planned, they were just things we found on the way to something else.
The same goes for public transit. Buses, subways, and trams are usually cheap, easy to figure out, and way more interesting than sitting in the back of a ride share. You’ll end up in neighborhoods and come across restaurants and shops that tourists don’t always go to, and get a glimpse of everyday life you’d probably miss otherwise.
Ubering from spot to spot might be faster, but you skip all the stuff in between, and sometimes the in-between is the best part.
So…should you take my advice?
Look, I get the irony here. I just spent a few hundred words telling you not to listen to other people’s travel tips while giving you a travel tip. But the heart of what I’m saying is this:
Don’t follow my path, create your own.
Not everyone has the luxury of time, money, or safety to travel this way, but even small shifts in how you explore a place can make it feel more personal.
Ask yourself what you’re actually craving when you travel (adventure, beauty, connection, rest) and make your plans around that, not someone else’s highlight reel. You’ll probably end up somewhere weirder, queerer, and more you than you ever expected. And isn’t that the point?
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